20 Dec The Voice Birthday Party
Does your child think they have the most beautiful voice? Has it gone from simply singing in the shower to non-stop singing in hope of becoming the next winner of The Voice? Do you find it cute but at the same time, the budget for earplugs hasn’t stopped rising? This year, it’s decided. You’re going to organise a The Voice-themed birthday party, but you know NOTHING about it, nothing at all…
9:00 am – Louison decided to wake me up by singing. She’s playing all this Italian music. She thinks that by being an underdog, she can score more points. I remind her that I’m not a judge, I’m a presenter, but I still have a musical ear and as a result I disencourage her to count on Italian songs, it’s a big risk!
9:15 am– With dishevelled hair and dark circles under my eyes, I pluck up the courage to get up. Coffee-Nutella-Coffee.
9:25 am – One last coffee. I’m seeing more and more clearly. I should have called a make up artist.
10:00 am – I make a pyramid of mini glittery donuts, I make marshmallow microphones, I say to myself that I missed out on something in my life. I say to myself that it’s not too late.
11:00 am – I dress the buffet table (the one that I covered with metallic curtains last night) : plates, disco cups, some disco ball cups, some cocktail glasses for drinking the cocktails, some mini disco balls and my cocktail menus!
12:00 pm – We go and see an exhibition, the performances can wait. That’s the advantage of having a birthday party at 5 o’ clock!
16:30 pm – I place two swivel chairs (that I borrowed from the office) opposite the space covered with metallic curtains that is the stage. I direct the light towards the disco balls. I make the last adjustments to the music, the wall projector, Spotify…
16:45 pm – The trickiest moment of the day. I transform Louise into a rock star. She’s going to be David Bowie!!!
17:45 pm – She’s David. I’m Tom. Excellent.
17:50 pm – The two coaches arrive. I’ve chosen them because:
1 – they like my daughter
2 – they don’t have children
3 – they have an excellent musical ear
4 – they like me more than they like my daughter
5 – one of them looks like Olly Murs
6 – the other looks like Simon Cowell (ahahaha) (don’t tell me you don’t have this friend…)
17:55 pm – Isn’t life beautiful?
18:00 pm – They’re all here!! 12 formidable contestents in shiny outfits, all ready to get to the grand final of The Voice!
18:02 pm – Hi everyone,I don’t need an introduction, you’ve recognised me!! Ok I well, I’m Tom! I’m both the presenter and the warm up act – I sing in my free time. Have you met the legendary judges?
18:03 pm – Before starting the competition, you’re going to make your own microphones! That way each person can have their own!
18:25 pm – Ok, we’re going to start with the blind auditions. Sit on both sides of the stage to make the audience. I’ll call you and you’re going to go and face the coaches one by one. If one of them turns around, you will go in their team. If both turn, you can choose your team. At the end of the auditions, one of the coaches will choose you. Don’t forget that you’re being filmed (my husband is the Iphone cameraman, and is behind the coaches’ chairs) and that it will be broadcasted live. And we’re live, give it your best shot!
18:27 pm – I know you’re nervous but everything’s going to be fine! You can take your lyrics with you!! Louise, you start!! A round of applause for Louise! Louise, what will you be singing? Do you need music to accompany you or are you singing a capella ?
19:00 pm – You were all amazing. Each of you join your coach. To separate the teams a bit, we’re going to do a choreography competition.Yes, I know we’re not on Dancing With The Stars but to win the battles stage presence is just as important as your voice! With your coach, you’re going to choose a song and prepare the chorus. We’ll find you on stage in 20 minutes!
19:20 pm – I invite Team Mika to sit down and Team Olly to prepare themselves. Judges sit down. A round of applause for team Olly!
19:35 pm – Bravo everyone! You’ve all earned a cocktail and some French Fancies. Rejoin me in the green room! (During the break, feel free to discuss each person’s performances.) (It’s time for the cameraman to transform into a barman, obviously whoever does the job must be multi-talented).
19:50 pm – It’s time to break up the competition again! And for the battles, I suggest a two vs two karaoke battle!! It’s very simple, I’m going to give you a song that you know and put the words on the wall. The first part will be sung by the first contestant and the second part by the second contestant. At the end of the song, your coach will choose the best ! I’ll give your coaches 5 minutes to choose the battle partners!
19:55 pm – Ok we’re off!!! (I discretely ask the cameraman to heat up the oven and fill the shelves with the mini-pizzas, the mini-burgers and the mini-toasties).
20:30 pm – They’re only 6 finalists left! And for the final audition: Air Guitar!!! Since I’m not mean, you’re all going to have a go! You know what that means? Your performances will be recorded and put to the vote by my friends on Instagram. Whoever recieves the most votes will be the winner of The Voice!!
20:45 pm – You’ve all earned a drink, a burger, a slice of pizza, a toastie and one last cocktail!! (It goes without saying that the cameraman has once more undergone a transformation).
20:55 pm – OK, it’s still a birthday party, shall we open the presents??
21:00 pm– Hi guys ! If you’re like me, the parents of your daughter’s friends are also your friends. As a result there’s no need to send them straight home. Children, it’s time for The Voice, you can all go watch it on the TV. The adults, a little cocktail?! I’ve made you a special menu!!!
22:00 pm – It would be a shame to not make the most of your overhead projector and your disco balls. Shall we do some karaoke?? Just a warning, tell your friends to be careful with Simon, he can chat up someone easilly, his reputation preceeds him…